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If Monsters Don't Exist, Why Are They Out To Get Me?

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Wherever You Go, There You Were: A Vardøger Goes to Tipperary

Anthropology, Folklore, History, Monsters, Mythology

Wherever You Go, There You Were: A Vardøger Goes to Tipperary

January 3, 2019 — 1 Comment

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Frightening Thoughts

“It is a condition of monsters that they do not perceive themselves as such. The dragon, you know, hunkered in the village devouring maidens, heard the townsfolk cry ‘Monster!’ and looked behind him.”
-Laini Taylor

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”
-Oscar Wilde

“Life is Hard. After all, it kills you.”
-Katherine Hepburn

“Horror is beyond the reach of psychology.”
-Theodor Adorno

“All would be well. All would be heavenly–If the damned would only stay damned.”
-Charles Fort

“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.”
–Jerry Garcia

“You can’t create a monster, then whine when it stomps a few buildings.”
–Yeardley Smith

“Horror is the natural reaction to the last 5,000 years of history.”
–Robert Anton Wilson

“The earth, it has been said, is one vast graveyard, and man can nowhere put down his foot without stepping on the remains of a brother.”
–M. Schele de Vere

“Even from the greatest of horrors, irony is seldom absent.”
–H.P. Lovecraft

“If the sleep of reason produces monsters, what does the sleep of unreason produce?”
–Guillermo Cabrera Infante

“The problem with people who say monsters don’t really exist is that they’re almost never saying it to the monsters.”
— Seanan McGuire, Discount Armageddon

“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean there isn’t an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
–Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“What monstrosities would walk the streets were some people’s faces as unfinished as their minds.”
–Eric Hoffer, American Social Philosopher

“The human head is bigger than the globe. It conceives itself as containing more. It can think and rethink itself and ourselves from any desired point outside the gravitational pull of the earth. It starts by writing one thing and later reads itself as something else. The human head is monstrous.”
–Günter Grass, German Novelist

Apocalypse Countdown

Jeane Dixon's Prediction for ArmageddonJanuary 1st, 2020

9 months to go.

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The Casper Constant: Ghosts as Natural Phenomena
Some Phantasms are Just Phoning It In
Wherever You Go, There You Were: A Vardøger Goes to Tipperary
The Sorcerous Syndicate of Molfetta: Dodging the Inquisition
Ghost Writer: Stop the Phantom Presses
Ghoulish Grudges: Do You Deserve to be Haunted?
Exit Stage Left, Pursued by a Ghost Bear
Dead and Dreaming: Persistence of the Unconscious After Death
Queer Eye for the Dead Guy: Naked Ghosts and Phantom Fashion
Mommy Dearest: Portable Consciousness and the Near Death Experience
The Curious Afterlife of The Lord of Cool
Captain Monckton’s Invisible Guest
Ancient Aliens and the Promise of Empire
The Electric Girls of Smyrna
Defense Against the Dark Algorithmic Arts: A Modern Primer
Frederick Marryat and the Brown Lady of Raynham Hall
Algernon Joy and His Useless Doppelgänger
Daniel Defoe’s Insufficiently Haunted Planet
The Goldfish that Would Be Pisces: Out of Place Objects
Beware Ghosts Bearing Gifts: Ezekiel Grosse and the Curse of the Rosewarne Gold
Be Nice to Dead People: Professor Junker and the Reanimated Corpse
The Observer at Infinity: J.W. Dunne vs. the Volcano
What’s the Market Value of the Devil?
Dreaming a Dream of Death: Mrs. Wilkie and Mr. Esdaile
Astral Projection for the Discriminating Dog
Notes from the Creepy Underground: Bergmönch and Meister Hämmerling
Dead Men Tell No Tales and Corpses are Rotten Witnesses
Slumlord to a Ghost: The Case of Giles Bolacre vs. Pierre Piquet
A Few Good Anomalists: You Can’t Handle the Vacuous Truth
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Greeting the Unknown Guest: Party Crasher or Host?
I Was a Skeptic, But I’m All Better Now
The Devil Went Down to Dartmoor: Remedial Tort Law for Imps
Tell Us a Ghost Story, Mummy: Khonsuemheb and the Whiny Ghost
Getting the Steamboat Willies: The Phantom of Raccourci Cutoff
A Zillion Years of Solitude: The Loneliness of the Anthropic Universe
How to Con Your Conquistador: The Question of Quivira
Death by Dining: An Unbalanced Day’s Breakfast
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Radio Free EsoterX: Obscure Ghost Ships
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Hell is for Railroad Telegraphers
Love and Longing in Ancient Amphipolis: Dating the Dead
The Saint Shortage: How to Succeed in Heaven Without Really Trying
Friends Don’t Let Friends Hunt Ghosts: The Dogged Haunting of Ballechin House
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Archives

Archives

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Dog Deaths on Overtoun Bridge: The Most Dangerous Place on Earth for Depressed Pets

The Unbearable Lightness of Life: Probability Will Probably Kill You

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Where Has All the Time Gone? The Theory of the Big Stop

The Greatest Bait and Switch Ever Told: Jesus Christ’s Younger Brother Isukiri

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The Nine Unknown Men of Ashoka or A 2000 Year Old Conspiracy That Cares

Et tu, Phasmatis? Where Are All the Ancient Roman Ghosts?

300 Missing Years: What If They Had a Dark Ages and Nobody Came?

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Global Weirding: Climate Change Explained for the Delusional

The South Will Samba Again: Remnants of the Confederate States of America in Brazil

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The Holographic Universe and The Paranormal: Why Two Dimensions May Be Better Than Three

The Devil In the Legal Details: Better to Process Serve in Hell

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The Layman’s Guide to Lurianic Kabbalism: Cleaning Up God’s Mess

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This Is Your Brain On Bicamerality: When Your Brain Talks to You, What Does it Call You?

Karmically Impacted Real Estate: Caveat Emptor and Laws about Haunted Houses

Not Quite as Big as Jesus: Apollonius of Tyana, Pythagorean Messiah

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Postcards from another Kind of Edge: Meanderings in Technopaganism and Visits with the Otherkin

A Swedish MacGyver Goes Mystic: Emanuel Swedenborg Talks With Unreliable Spirits

Reality Gone Wild: Fantastic Realism, Arthur Machen, and the Angels of Mons

Men in Hats: Stylish Shadow People and Fashionable Men in Black

Keeping Time While Time Travelling: Space-Time Crystals as Eternal Chronometers

The Meek Shall Inherit the Universe: Maybe Aliens Aren’t Talking Because They’re Dumb

Extraterrestrial Expectations: The Threat of an Imminent Invasion of the Anthropological Other

The Michigan Triangle: Hey Bermuda, We See Your Ghost Pirates and Raise You Our Angry Lake Gods

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Blue Ridge Mountain Monsters

Project Archivist

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